Yiddish Curses

Using Yiddish curses effectively isn’t a matter of yelling out bad words; the trick is to put good ones together in the most damaging possible way. It’s a pastime, an invitation to a dialogue, a form of recreation that lets standard Yiddish thought and speech run wild.

Many Yiddish curses involve a reversal of fortune; the curse starts out sounding like a blessing – everything looks just ducky until you get to the end, where the whole thing turns around and smacks you in the face.

In a culture in which almost nobody ever admits to feeling good, it should be no surprise that a large group of Yiddish curses involves body parts and physical afflictions.

If you’re really serious about your Yiddish curses, and aren’t just toying with your cursee, you need a klole mit beyner, a curse with bones.

The terms for cursing--as distinct from simple use of "bad" words--are quite similar to those found in English: sheltn vi a mark-yidene, "to curse like a market woman"; sheltn zikh vi afn fish-mark, "to curse like in a fishmarket." We're dealing with the Yiddish equivalent of Billingsgate, the London fish market that lent its name to all kinds of bad language, a Jewish version of the dozens, the African-American insult-game, but far less sexually oriented and far more likely to be identified as a female rather than a male activity. As in all such games, victory was strictly verbal; if all the ill-wishes came true, there'd be no one left to play with.

Shmerl: Kumen zolstu tsu dayn eybiker ru--May you come to your eternal rest.

Berl: Ruen zolstu nisht afile in keyver--May you find no rest even in the grave.

Shmerl: Zol dir lign in keyver der eyver, in di kishkes a lokh mit a sheyver--May your penis lie in a grave, [may] a hole and a hernia [lie] in your guts.

This sort of competitive cursing is one of the rarest forms of spoken communication, one in which each participant really listens to what the other is saying. Reciprocal cursing demands reciprocated attention--your response has to build on and demolish whatever has just been wished on you or you're going to be out of the game.

The game isn't played very much any more, at least not in Yiddish. Most of the more elaborate curses that you hear these days--either in Yiddish or in English translation--are quoted from books or old recordings, or have been passed along as jokes. Curses like the one above are pretty much a thing of the past, and even then tended to be identified with certain strata of society.

The victim of this kind of curse must be exalted, raised to the very pinnacle of his or her aspirations, and only then, lulled into a false sense of security, be brought crashing back to earth:

"Your daughter should marry the richest, best-looking boy in the country the day after he's become president of the United States, and you should have a front row pew in the church."

This inversion of expectation is a major strategy in Yiddish cursing and might be called the zolst krenken in nakhes motif, "you should suffer in the midst of pleasure," get everything you always wanted and suffer all the more for it.

"Got zol dir helfn, May God help you, zolst shtendik zayn gezunt un shtark, you should always be healthy and strong, un shtendik fregn vos far a veter es iz in droysn, and always be asking what the weather's like outside." What are you being condemned to: madness, an idée fixe, a lifetime in a padded cell or solitary confinement? Probably the latter, but you never know--it could be the Yid in the Iron Mask.

fardreyen zolstu mit di fis--may your feet be twisted
krikhn zolstu afn boykh--may you crawl on your belly
zol dir platsn di gal--may your gall-bladder burst
zol dir dreyen farn nopl--may you be turned around by the navel (suffer constant dizziness and nausea)
shteyner dir afn hartsn--stones on your heart
oysdarn zol bay dir der moyekh (der kop)--your brain (your head) should dry up
a geshvir dir in kop/in zayt/in der leber/in haldz/af der noz/af der shpits-noz--an abscess on your head/side/liver/neck/nose/tip of your nose
aroyskrikhn zoln dir di oygn fun kop--may your eyes crawl out of your head

Any part of the body that can be moved--hands, feet, tongue, fingers, toes, eyelids, elbows, knees, ankles--can also be paralyzed: “Es zol dir opnemen di hent, di fis, di tsung, di finger, di fus-finger, di ledelekh, di elnbogens, di kni, di knekhelekh, not to mention der kleyner and der eyver, two slang terms for the male member.

It is fitting that people who regard medical school as the most important non-Jewish invention of all time should put a particular emphasis on illness in their cursing:

fargelt un fargrint zolstu vern--you should turn yellow and green
a meshugenem zol men oysshraybn un dikh araynshraybn--a maniac should be crossed off the register of madmen and you should be inscribed in his place
es zol dir farshporn fun fornt un fun hintn--you should be blocked up from in front and from behind
es zol dir dunern in boykh un blitsn in di hoyzn--you should thunder in your belly and lightning in your pants
a nikhpe zol dikh khapn--you should have an epileptic seizure
a kadokhes dir in di beyner--a recurrent fever in your bones

Note that cancer, tuberculosis, leukemia and even the common heart attack are all conspicuously absent from this list. It's o.k. to curse, but you don't want to get heavy with anybody’s health. When things look serious, realism rushes back in.

Just as nasty but somewhat more oblique, opkoyfn zol men im baym tatn zayne malbushim, "may his wardrobe be purchased from his father,” is so vicious that it could easily backfire and make the curser look bad: when you wish a person dead, you're not supposed to calculate the consequences.

If you would like to hear these Yiddish curses and other expressions spoken aloud by Michael Wex himself, why not buy a copy of the audio CD of Born to Kvetch or Just Say Nu by clicking on the images below?

For a guide to the transliteration used on this page go to our transliteration page.