September 04, 2007
Welcome to the eleventh edition of Vekslblat – The Yiddish World of Michael Wex's monthly e-zine. If this is the first copy you have received, as a special gift to thank you for subscribing to this newsletter we would like to offer you a free download of the e-book version of Wex’s classic The Kugel Story, a Jewish folktale for the 21st century. Please click here to download the e-book. This link has been disabled since the e-book is only available to Vekslblat subscribers. Don't forget to check out the back-issues of Vekslblat.
This edition of Vekslblat includes news, three articles from the Jewish Week, a special Rosh Hashana gift, a great new Yiddish resource, Wex's Kvetch of the Month and much more. Enjoy!
News
Listen to Wex read his books
Just last week Michael finished recording the audio version of Just Say Nu at a studio in downtown Toronto. Already available for pre-order from Amazon, the CD set is a virtually unabridged version of Wex's new Yiddish phrasebook (only the glossary and the grammatical appendix are missing), due out in October. If you really want to hear how Yiddish should sound, check it out alongside the 9 CD set of Born to Kvetch, also available from Amazon. Click on the links above to order your copies!
The Adventures of Micah Mushmelon hits the stores in Canada
We are excited to let you know that The Adventures of Micah Mushmelon, Boy Talmudist is now available in Canadian stores. Wex spotted a copy in The World's Biggest Bookstore in Toronto, ahead of its official October publication. If you'd like to pre-order your copy through Amazon, click here
(and please ignore the random description and bio on Amazon - we've asked the publisher to clean it up, but as yet the copy's still a little messed up).Great new Yiddish resource
Where's Wex?
After the craziness of the summer, Wex is thankfully having a break from travelling for work in September for the holidays. In the picture above you can see him giving his first public reading from Just Say Nu at Klezkanada a couple of weeks ago. Go to our events calendar on the website to keep up to date with all of Wex's gigs, public appearances and book signings. There will be a lot coming up in the fall!
Your Rosh Hashana gift
Shalom Michael! I have been enjoying your book "Born to Kvetch" as my grandparents were Yiddish speakers and my wife is from southern Germany and her dialect is very similar. You wrote something on page 14 that has a profound impact on my life. You stated that modern Judaism is not a biblical religion but a Talmudic religion. Without the Talmud to explain the bible you could be led to Jesus on the cross as easily as to a Bar Mitzvah. Incredible! I am now sure that Yeshua is the Messiah! Why study the books and comments of men who lead us away from G-d when HaShem explained in His own words and description who Messiah is and how he will come. After reading your statement and checking the Bible without reference to Talmud, you were right. The Tanakh DOES lead to Yeshua as Messiah! Thank you Michael Wex for helping me see the truth in the scriptures given by HaShem without the influence of man. Isaiah 52/53, Psalm 118, there are too many scriptures to go into but they all point to Messiah! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The email address ended dc.gov. Perhaps a fan in the White House?
Articles
Just the other day, I heard my daughter say “Napoleon Solo.”
If these words mean nothing to you, hurry to your local video store and demand copies of all 105 episodes of the ‘sixties television classic, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Napoleon Solo, played by Robert Vaughn, was its major character, though my daughter, a true child of a child of the ‘sixties, insists that David McCallum’s character, Ilya Kuryakin, was infinitely cuter.
“P’raps so,” I said paternally, “but were you aware, o Sabu [the child’s name], of how deeply Jewish the show really is?”
“Enlighten me, father,” she replied, and after explaining the meaning of the word acronym, I explained the importance of such acronyms in Jewish life:
Invitations to any function always specify that it will begin at such-and-such a time bidiyuk. Bidiyuk, a Hebrew word not much used in spoken Yiddish, means “exactly,” but-- given the Jewish propensity for lateness and the fact that “u” and “v” can be represented by the same Hebrew letter--it is taken as an acronym for biz di yidn veln kumen, until the Jews finally turn up. Similarly, you can say that someone who was approached for a donation gave bitsedek, which usually means righteously or charitably. Here it stands for biz tsu der keshene, as far as his pocket, i.e., he stopped short of actual money. There’s also shpek yidish, “bacon Yiddish,” the sort of Yiddish spoken by people who only think they speak Yiddish. It stands for shmuk, puts, kugl--about as much as such people know.
I wish that I could say that I’m kvetching in the country, but no––that would be too much of a luxury, that might come too close to entertainment. And God forbid I should have any of that. No, it isn’t I who’s kvetching out here: I’m the victim, I’m the one who’s being kvetched about.
Here’s what happened. I was invited to speak at a rustic kosher retreat as part of a larger program of klezmer music and Yiddish culture. Over the course of my introductory talk, I happened to tell a joke about my efforts to sneak out of Torah camp in 1969 in order to go to Woodstock. “Look,” said the crowd, “he’s making fun of observant people,” having forgotten that the only observant person described or even mentioned in my story was me, busy doing what I do best: not getting what I want.
Nu, what can you do? The audience’s reaction is a perfect illustration of one of the best-known expressions in the Yiddish language. Me’ ken lebn, you could live, as they say. The problem is not at all metaphysical. Life in the fullest sense of the word is indeed possible in this sublunary, material world. Me’ ken lebn––life is what the world is here for––ober me’ lozt nisht, but they won’t let you. It isn’t life that’s to blame, it’s the living. Just about all of them. There are a lot of them, they’re all out to get you–and worse, as far as they’re concerned, it’s your fault.
We’re into the month of Elul now, when we’re supposed to begin examining our deeds and telling the truth to God and ourselves. Contempt for the kind of b.s. that we use to justify our dodgier actions has given rise to one of the most remarkable, not to mention useful, of Yiddish phrases: veys ikh voos (literally, “I know what”; more literally, “know I what”). Uriel Weinreich, in his Modern English-Yiddish Yiddish-English Dictionary translates it as “tut! pooh! nonsense! fiddlesticks!” all of which are perfectly correct. They are not, however, entirely idiomatic.
Veys ikh voos has an air of contempt that is positively menacing—to your interlocutor’s self-regard, if nothing else. It’s never pronounced as clearly as it’s written here; it is spat—ideally, it’s sneezed out, slow-roasted over the adenoids before being projected through the nose, and sounds more like VEI-KH-OO-EHS than a series of separate words. Rather than “tell it to the marines,” veys ikh voos is closer to “For this”—the garbage that you’ve just heard— “For this God gave you a mouth?!” It consists of equal parts disbelief, contempt, and impatience—practically a Yiddish trifecta. While not recommended for telephone use—people are likely to say “Gesundheit” or ask if you’re all right––it’s perfect for dealing with any idiot separated from you by a counter or desk (so long as they aren’t wearing judge’s robes); the air of bubbling menace will get them even if they don’t understand a word.
For a guide to Yiddish pronunciation, click here.
And Finally....Wex’s Kvetch of the Month:
I know it's trivial, but I spend well over a month this summer at various rural Jewish retreats, rusticating in the tents of Jacob while yawning uncontrollably in a vain attempt to wake up without the help of drinkable coffee. Strawberries I understand; they're what you call fartiker--ready-made--treyf. Same with lettuce or spinach, not to mention broccoli, the khazer of the vegetable world. But since when did coffee, real coffee, become so treyf that it can no longer be found at any Jewish event? And what does this tell us about the status of beans in the orthodox world? Could tsholnt maybe be next?
Could the messiah be here after all?
A gut, gezund yor! Look out for your next edition of Vekslblat in October.